The Boy is all in when it comes to the Frozen movies. I gather this is not uncommon. He and I actually went to see the second film in the theater, back when one could do such things. It was his first, and thus far only, theater experience.
Well, that is not quite true. The Wife and I took him with to see Rogue One when he was just a few weeks old. He slept through the whole thing…
Anyway, on the drive in to “school” this morning, we had Let it Go, the original anthem, blasting. He enjoyed it. Always does. That was followed by When I’m Older, the Olaf comic relief from the sequel. I prefer that one personally. The whole Samantha bit gets me every time.
I don’t know where this is going. Just had to write, because it helps me with my brain, as the Beastie Boys say. This has been a rough week. On top of all the “everything else”, (I don’t know how else to describe it), the water heater went on the blink Sunday night. It finally got fixed, but not without some gyrations.
Stress levels elevated. Depression on ahead full. Of course the Boy picks up on it and has been out of sorts himself. We have read two versions of The Jungle Book repeatedly the past several nights and I don’t know what to make of that.
As Olaf says, “No reason to be terrified or tense… Cuz when you’re older, absolutely everything makes sense!”
I may have told this story before. If so, forgive me.
It was in high school, not sure which grade. Doesn’t matter really. I got a new clock radio, well it was probably used, but anyway. It had a sleep function and you could set the alarm to be the radio instead of some sort of annoying buzzer, or beeper, or what have you. Pretty high class right?
So, I spent the first night fiddling around with it, trying to set all the things. Turns out I only did some of them right. I never did sort out the sleep timer, but I did set the alarm to the right time and to the radio function. What I didn’t realize is that in fooling with the sleep timer I had turned the radio volume all the way up.
My bed was up against one wall, with the head in a corner. Opposite the wall was a small nightstand. Actually it was a really cool antique shoe shine stool, but that is neither here nor there. Anyway, that was where the aforementioned clock radio was situated. I also put my glasses on it when going to bed.
Ok, stay with me here.
For some reason, I tended to sleep curled up against the wall in the corner. So, when morningtime came, the alarm clicked on at the established time, to the classic rock station I preferred in those days, at full volume. I wish I could say that I remember what song was playing, but I don’t. With fair reason I think.
With such a brash occurrence, I jerked awake, only to smack my face against the wall. Stunned from both events, I desperately tried to stop the alarm by swatting at it. However, given the scenario, and now tangled in bedsheets, what I did manage to do was send my glasses flying. I will note that I am a bit blind without them. Knowing this, and still in a somewhat irrational state I lunged for them. Which only sent me flailing out of bed.
So, my mother, entering the room with likely both concern and trepidation, finds me thrashing about on the floor, one hand on my face, the other smacking around on the floor trying to locate my glasses, and with the classic rock station still at full blast. Of course I had to continue the day, including high school.
Now, having told you all that, I will posit that, having such an experience in my past, saying that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, under just about any other circumstances, may be reaching. Just a bit. But today I did just that. Lamely.
In truth, I woke up fine, but then hit a wall of some sort. It has been a terrible day. Nothing was right, for no reason at all. I struggled, both to be civil, and to not be angry. For no reason at all. Having nothing good to say, I tried to say as little as possible. I just felt broken and deflated. For no reason at all.
But some days are like that. I don’t know why, but they are. At this point I will hope tomorrow is different, perhaps rather, a Wilco day.
Maybe the sun will shine today. The clouds will blow away. Maybe I won’t feel so afraid. I will try to understand, either way…
The day is grey and rather on the gloomy side. A cold south wind is driving heavy clouds and making small waves on the lake. Most of the leaves are off the trees and there are patches of snow scattered among them. In all it is a late autumn day, with a hint of winter.
It is a small lake that we live on, with our house on a ridge along the northern edge. Along the west side is a marshy area that is bounded by the highway beyond. In the northwest corner, there is a little backwater area. We call it the frog pond. Technically I think it is part of a neighboring property. It is frequented by deer.
The lake level is high, from what we have been told. Higher than most can recall. That little backwater is probably quite different now than it has been in previous years. Along the western-most edge of it there is a solitary tamarack. I only really noticed it earlier this autumn, after most of the leaves had dropped and it had changed color to a blazing yellow. It is slightly visible from the road into the the neighborhood. The first day I saw it, it captivated me. I tried to take a photo, but the result does little justice. I have not gone back to view it since.
A lot has happened since that yellow tamarack. The two trips to Illinois, not the least of which. Daylight savings one the more irritating events. It gets dark so early, especially on a day like today. I find I have to keep trying no to slouch. Everything seems so heavy right now. Truly, it has been a heavy year and that does not seem likely to change much.
On the other hand, the Boy had a birthday the other day and we are still riding that wave. It has been fun playing with him and enjoying his new toys. His energy is both inspiring and exhausting. He is napping now, as I write this.
The wind is starting to gust and the wind chimes are getting a bit more restless. There is talk of snow. Or maybe mixed rain. It is a perfect Tom Waits day…
November has tied me to an old dead tree. Get word to April to rescue me.
Adrift 