Some days.

There is a difference between feeling tired and feeling drained. With an infant in the house, tired is really just a new state of being. The flip side of that is that there is an infant and there is so much fun and energy included in that reality, that tired is just a thing.

That is not to say that having an infant around is not sometimes draining. Far from it, but, as noted, there is a give and take there.

Not so with other aspects of life. Not always anyway.

Normally I tend a bit more towards introversion. At least in that, extended bouts of interacting with others, especially groups of others, typically requires some solitary time to recharge. People can be exhausting.

Thankfully, my new job is, at least of late, a reasonably healthy mix of having to interact with others and getting to wander around the forest looking for archaeology; that being simply the physical evidence of past peoples having interacted with the forest in some way. There are connections there.

So, when it goes well, life is a fair give and take. Sometimes though, the scales get tipped the wrong way and there is too much take… or too much give, depending on the situation. When that happens, it feels like the life has been sucked out of me. I end up feeling fragile, empty, and especially vulnerable.

Today was like that.

Thankfully, there is the Boy, and the Wife, and the two knucklehead dogs. And today there was also a little book. It did not take long to read, but I expect it will take years to really get. I have been looking forward to it for some time. I know the author… I think. At least I know the human representative responsible for the physical manifestation of the book… I am pretty sure the author is some strange metaphysical amalgamation of the two; that being the human person and the dog person and the connection between them.

I teared up almost immediately as memories of my own husky counterpart, now on to greater adventures, came flooding back. And that broke the tension and anxiety of the past day and a half that had crippled me. I was able to talk to the Wife about my trouble and the scales tipped back towards balance.

It is a fine little book.

You will have to read it to understand.

http://www.wendybattino.com/luzy-lessons-book/