November has tied me to an old dead tree, get word to April to rescue me. November’s cold chain, made of wet boots and rain, and shiney black ravens on chimney smoke lanes.
Here in the ‘banks it is not really supposed to rain in November…and that is not just my opinion. There is just something dreadfully wrong with this occurrence. And yet, it has happened again, although this time they called it “frizzle”. As in “freezing drizzle”. I am still waiting for the Snoop Dog joke/reference.
Anyways, thankfully it is just snowing now…heavily snowing with a fair bit of wind, but just snowing. And we like snow. Snow is normal and good here…in November. Granted, the preposterously warm temperatures for this time of year would not really be THAT unwelcome if not for the snow melting rain freezing ice scraping frizzle problem. Oh and the shitty driving. Actually the driving is not TOOO bad so long as one behaves sensibly and drives an appropriate speed for the conditions… which of course change depending on where one is driving to or from… which of course means that one should be alert and PAY ATTENTION to one’s surroundings and not behave as if all is normal, thereby allowing one to adjust/adapt to the changing conditions.
No, stopping is the real problem…or more precisely stopping when and where and how one intends to stop.
But then it is all just the weather and there really is not much else we can do about weather other than adjust/adapt to it on an individual level. Climate is another thing altogether. But that is a discussion I am not fully equipped to handle. Other than to say, again, it is not really supposed to rain in November.
I have been thinking for some time now that my posting here has become increasingly more sporadic and that I have been missing it. I get something out of writing these things… usually. But I think that I have been experiencing some sort of reluctance of late. Not really a dry spell, as I actually have written a few things in the past few weeks but somehow have not felt up to posting them, but some sort of hesitation. Plus the past few that I have posted have been a bit scattered. It has all felt a bit forced or pointless or useless or fruitless or something…
Out of curiosity I looked back in the archives of this here blog-thing to see what I was thinking this time last year. On the 10th I talked about snow… because it was snowing… as it should have been. On the 13th I was pondering the meaning of a song, “Carry on my Wayward Son.” Then on the 18th things got a bit heavy; talking without speaking… or something. Why does this matter? Well as usual around here, it doesn’t really. On the other hand maybe it does, or should, to me anyway. I like, or at least have liked, writing this blog. That said, I have been asking myself increasingly of late, “why bother?”
I listened to Fresh Air this morning featuring Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half, which I will say right here and now, IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH HER WORK STOP READING THIS AND GO HERE AND READ THAT. No really do it now. Then maybe if you want you can come back and read this. And what does this have to do with anything? Well two things really, maybe more than that…
So the first is that I really like her blogs and I really wish sometimes that I could be funny and witty and have some sort of blog following… which I know there are some out there that do follow this and I thank you for that. I would also add that I do realize that I do no sort of promoting of this blog outside of the odd facebook post. I should be taking greater advantage of the built in promoting tools like taglines and whatnot if I want to reach a wider audience. But then I would have to face the question of why would anyone really want to read any of this nonsense because when it comes down to it really is just nonsense. But then I guess, as I have stated here before, it was never really intended to be anything else. What follows then is the related question of why would I WANT any sort of blog following? What is it that I might hope to get out of this undertaking? I dunno. I certainly do not expect fortune and glory.
So the second thing is that I really like her blogs and I really wish sometimes that I could be poignant and heartfelt and offer some sort of insight into life, the universe, and everything; to give those that choose to read these things some sense that hey, other folks have problems too and maybe mine are not so strange and terrible. I guess that comes from some intriguing new desire that I have been noticing in myself to be some sort of useful human. To be less selfish or at least less self involved. To offer something for the betterment of the greater good….whatever that means.
But maybe I should not concern myself with any of that. Maybe I should just keep writing this because I enjoy writing it, regardless of who does or does not read it. But then doesn’t that somehow smack of the self-indulgence I am looking to avoid? But if I try to write this for others as opposed to for myself, it could never be as genuine, which is one of the things I actually do like about it. When I go back and re-read these things (which I do and this sometimes causes me to wonder how my own visitation is affecting the “stats” that are meant to give me a quantification of visitation to the blog) it gives me a sense of… well, of Self I guess. For whatever that is worth.
Anyways. Don’t mind me, just some more nonsense. Carry on.